A Peachy Life

There is a part of me that wants everyone to be happy, never disappointed, and always pleased (with me). I don't really like this part of me.

Lately, the people-pleaser aspect of myself has inched toward the surface again. And it's resulted in a stressed, irritable, and anxious girl.

I am a teacher. My husband is a pastor, and my father is a pastor, so in addition to my own church, I have relationships with people through some of their social and professional networks. I have a lot of family members, I am involved in youth group, and I have some friends. So I know a lot of people. Do you know the chances of one of those people being displeased with me at any given time? I think it's 100%.

Now, no one needs me to point out to them that I am not Jesus, so of course there are going to be times when I should be apologizing for something I have royally messed up. But sometimes- a lot of times- I know it is best for me to just be. To make the best decision I know how to in a given situation and then just keep on living. No one is better off if I am Basket Case Sarah, worried that at any moment that someone might be offended. No one is better off if I am making them happy all the time. First of all, it's silly to think that I am that powerful. And second of all, I "know" by now that keeping someone happy does not equal love.

Still, somehow, I have let this people-pleasing part consume too much of me. I'm ok with having a little of that aspect in me; it makes me a peace maker. But too much? Not good. Not healthy.
No one benefits.

I want a life that is like a juicy summer peach. But the way I've been thinking lately and feeling lately sucks the joy and the beauty and good stuff out of the life.

And that's no way to live.