Lessons in Marriage and Life

Tim and I are moving next week.
Actually, we are moving in with our friends (and adopted family) Rob and Cheryl.
I like to take in reactions when a previously uninformed person finds out about our new living arrangements. My favorite so far comes from the beloved Jeannie, and was relayed to me by my husband,"Oh, that is so you guys!"
It is.

Tim and I are free-spirited people. And I'm quite comfortable in that skin. But I do wish I would have been more aquainted with "us" as a couple a year ago. I didn't recognize the free-spiritedness. I didn't embrace it. I loathed explaining our decisions to well-meaning people ("no, I am not working full time this year," "no, we are not looking to buy a house in the near future," "no, we do not want to have kids right away, and when we do, at least one of them will be adopted (hopefully more)," "yes, we are moving in with our friends."
I often felt like I was under scrutiny, and I was uncomfortable with that.
But...I ache for big things, and with big things comes uncomfortable, unwelcome limelight.

This year, I feel as if I've broken in a just-a-bit-too-tight pair of jeans. I'm comfortable and unashamed of who Tim and Sarah: the couple are. We do things that seem strange to people (but I would argue that those things only seem strange because they are not part of the American dream). We love community and people. We don't live by a 40 hour work week. In fact, Tim works much more, and I often do, as well. The paycheck doesn't reflect that, and that is ok. We don't aspire to be financially wealthy. This is the truth- our wealth comes from all the times we were able to love someone. All the times our actions said, "you are infinitely valuable." All the times we were able to help heal wounds. We don't accept money for helping people out, but we will exchange things. We risk a lot and we make a lot of mistakes.

And because of those things, there might be times when we are eating rice and beans at every meal. There will be times when we mess up royally. But beginning with our friendship and then moving into dating, engagement, and marriage, we have embraced the words found in John 10:10. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." Some of that fullness of life seems to be the recognition of the intricacies of who you are, embracing them, and then acting on them.

If I had really embraced what I embrace now a year ago, I wouldn't have let the scrutiny effect me like it did. I wouldn't have let it distract me. I would have been able to impact so many more people if I hadn't wasted so much time thinking I had to justify my actions to people that didn't have a particularly vested interest in me. But another lesson I've learned by now that dwelling on the mistakes I've made (it is a HUGE tendency of mine to dwell and beat myself up!) is just another distraction, often a spiritual distraction, from living life with fullness.