My First Day

I completed my first shift at the studio tonight! I really enjoyed myself. So much so that I didn't feel like I was working. I was bustling around, checking to see if laundry needed to be thrown in the dryer, washing mats, checking students in, answering questions in person and on the phone, learning names. Right up my alley.

After thinking over my schedule in the coming weeks, I realize I can't make any more (big) commitments without sacrificing something. When I teach, I want to teach well. When I am with my girls, I want to be fully there. When I am in the studio, I want to be attentive to the details and welcoming to students. When I am on the mat, I want to bring my whole self to my practice. I can't add anything else and still do those things well. Some people can. I can't. I'm a girl who needs some time to herself. I need some free space in my calendar. Some time to just be, with no interest at all in doing.

I don't mean that I can't meet for a movie at Goggleworks, a latte at Starbucks, a lunch at Good Eatz, or a walk (all some of my favorite things.). I don't mean that at all. What is life without relationships?

But when I took a work study position at Shri, I thought that I was going to be laid off. I imagined myself working at the yoga studio, taking lots of yoga classes, becoming a freelance writer, cooking lots of earthy meals, finally learning to sew, meeting for long walks, and generally flitting around like some kind of care free butterfly of a woman. That is truly what I pictured in my head.

But I have not been laid off. I still have a job, and now a work study position. And you know, as much as I liked the idea of Bohemian Sarah, I'm glad for both of them. Teacher by day, Yogi by night. That works for me.

Some Favorites

• I love a big bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. Lately, I'm most likely to eat the following combination (as inspired by my pal Amy): oats cooked with cinnamon and milk, plus a tablespoon of agave nectar, a tablespoon of peanut butter, and a sliced banana. I'm also looking forward to subbing in some unsweetened shredded coconut for the agave nectar.
  
• I REALLY love my girls (and my co-leader, Kristin!). We cuddle together, go to yoga classes, talk about life, laugh a lot. This Tuesday, one of the girls is going to teach the rest of us how to make apple pie with crumbs on top (I have never made a pie!). They are really awesome girls, each with their own perspective on life. I am really sad that they will be graduating in June (I tell them that I'm going to sabotage their graduation), but I'm determined to use the time I do have with them. And I'm thrilled to welcome other girls into our group, as well.
• Yoga! I don't know what, but something went off inside of me that says, "yoga, yoga, yoga!" I'm thrilled to be able to spend time with my girls during some of my classes and also to get to know new names, faces, and stories through my work study position.
• My family. I have a great family. I miss my brother and sister tremendously when they are away, but our time together is even sweeter for it. I have seen relatives from my dad's side of the family AND my mom's side recently, and I've been able to enjoy quality time with them just as if it hasn't been months (or years?) since I last saw them. And because most of Tim's family lives within a 5-20 minute drive, I finally have my childhood wish of living near my relatives!
• Shared meals. Possibly the best thing in life. (Oops. Have I said this too many times?)
• A good chunk of time to do a thorough cleaning or cook a great meal. I usually end up putting a lot on my calendar, so I "good chunks of time" to do either of those things are not every day occurences. But I love the chance to take my time and do something "house-wifey."

I Want Nap Time Back

I am tired today, so I'm not quite sure how my words will come out.

I've been tired. It seems that my old impulse to "get a donut FULL of frosting right after work" has been replaced with the strong desire to lay my head down and sleep, sleep, sleep. And I want to sleep, I think my body needs the sleep, but I also don't want to miss out on life by sleeping away ALL my free time (although part of me wants to do just that!).

I don't really have a solution, except to sit with each moment and be there. Make the best decision I can in each moment, and live in it.

Today, one of the best decisions I could make was to be honest with my students about just how tired I was. Some afternoons, one of the best decisions I could make will be to sleep. During others, it will be a walk with a friend or a meeting for coffee (yay coffee!).

Last night, I was able to spend some quality time with my mom over dinner at my favorite restaurant. I'm really excited about my small group this year, a work-study position I have taken at a local yoga studio, and the beginning of family night. I'm also excited about fall (my absolute favorite season!), Thanksgiving, apple picking, baking, taking yoga classes, and spending as much time with friends and family as I can.

I'm starting to feel a little more energized just thinking about it.