About four-and-a-half months ago, I applied for a position that I didn't qualify for. I really wanted it, though. My mother used to tell me, "it doesn't hurt to ask," so I found some courage and went for it.
And I got it. A job right up my alley. I landed a work study position at Shri Yoga and Wellness Center. I greeted customers, learned names,kept supplies stocked, cleaned windows and mats, folded laundry, took classes, and met some extraordinary people (and one beautiful woman who is hard to catch wearing a pair of shoes). I was in love.
In the meantime, Tim and I bought our first house and decided to revamp the whole thing. The climate in my classroom continued to change as students came and went. I was still committed to my girls at Calvary. Time was tight. Date nights with Tim dwindled away. Time for dinners at my house or any other house was hard to find. And I didn't have much time to spend with my girls outside of designated allotments.
So I made the decision to end my work study position.
I talked with Pam about this a couple of weeks ago. We had some good conversations, and she said I shouldn't worry about it. Everything would work out.
And you know, she was right. My shifts are already covered. Which is not what I was expecting or even hoping for. Tonight is my last night on duty. And I was told all sorts of sweet things, like I will be missed, I will always be part of this community, and I can always come back (even to take a -shh!- FREE class!), which helps because this whole thing is bittersweet.
Tonight, in true Pam fashion, I completed my last shift without any shoes.
So. Who wants to come over for dinner?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Orientation
Do you know who I love?
My girls.
I try to love them individually, not collectively, although my term for "them" suggests differently. I fail all the time.
I'm not sure if it's the weather, or the time of day, or the fact that I'm in weekend mode on a Thursday afternoon when I have to go back to work in less than 2 hours, but I am semi-seriously considering laying a few things out each year for my girls. Because I desperately want to see them blossom, and I don't want any perception of anything I said, did, or didn't say or do to get in the way of that.
What if I were to give out a disclaimer?
Here are a few things I might say:
1. Sometimes I don't know what you need. And although I know you might be going through something difficult, and you might not know how to tell me, could you please try? Because I'm trying to dig into a lot of girls' lives, and I miss a whole lot of signals in the process.
2. Depending on my day (or week or month), what has been said to me previously, or something else going on in my life, there are times when I cannot handle complaints about something my husband said or did. I try to be objective, but in the end, he has the best part of my heart a human can have, and there are times when I will be a little (a lot?) defensive. Please don't take this as a personal assault.
3. My absence from your game/play/party/concert doesn't mean I didn't want to be there. When I was choosing my own hours as a substitute teacher, I went to a lot more of my girls' events, and I still would have liked to attend more. Sometimes there are other commitments that get in the way of keeping a schedule that might seem ideal.
4. I'm human. I say thoughtless things and make lots of mistakes. I have bad days, and sometimes I'm grumpy. But overall? I love you. I try to get better at loving, but I love you imperfectly because I'm not Jesus. So when I fail you, try, please try not to let it rock your world too much. Try not to let it get you down. Try not to let it lead you to make big conclusions about life. Because I'm just a person who wants to hike with you on the best path.
And if you're ok with all that?
If you're ok with learning from and teaching someone a little older than you,
if you're ok with acting as a team to scale walls and keep from tumbling down steep inclines,
if you're ok with silence while the sunsets, keepings secrets, and digging for treasures, well, then,
we're going to have a grand adventure.
My girls.
I try to love them individually, not collectively, although my term for "them" suggests differently. I fail all the time.
I'm not sure if it's the weather, or the time of day, or the fact that I'm in weekend mode on a Thursday afternoon when I have to go back to work in less than 2 hours, but I am semi-seriously considering laying a few things out each year for my girls. Because I desperately want to see them blossom, and I don't want any perception of anything I said, did, or didn't say or do to get in the way of that.
What if I were to give out a disclaimer?
Here are a few things I might say:
1. Sometimes I don't know what you need. And although I know you might be going through something difficult, and you might not know how to tell me, could you please try? Because I'm trying to dig into a lot of girls' lives, and I miss a whole lot of signals in the process.
2. Depending on my day (or week or month), what has been said to me previously, or something else going on in my life, there are times when I cannot handle complaints about something my husband said or did. I try to be objective, but in the end, he has the best part of my heart a human can have, and there are times when I will be a little (a lot?) defensive. Please don't take this as a personal assault.
3. My absence from your game/play/party/concert doesn't mean I didn't want to be there. When I was choosing my own hours as a substitute teacher, I went to a lot more of my girls' events, and I still would have liked to attend more. Sometimes there are other commitments that get in the way of keeping a schedule that might seem ideal.
4. I'm human. I say thoughtless things and make lots of mistakes. I have bad days, and sometimes I'm grumpy. But overall? I love you. I try to get better at loving, but I love you imperfectly because I'm not Jesus. So when I fail you, try, please try not to let it rock your world too much. Try not to let it get you down. Try not to let it lead you to make big conclusions about life. Because I'm just a person who wants to hike with you on the best path.
And if you're ok with all that?
If you're ok with learning from and teaching someone a little older than you,
if you're ok with acting as a team to scale walls and keep from tumbling down steep inclines,
if you're ok with silence while the sunsets, keepings secrets, and digging for treasures, well, then,
we're going to have a grand adventure.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Better Than I Know Myself
Do you know how much I love yoga?
My husband does.
So this afternoon, while wallowing in how tired I felt, how bad my sleeping patterns have been, my husband asked me to do 2 minutes of yoga with him. He urged me to do it. I whined. I complained. I wanted to lay in bed for the next couple of hours and wait for energy to come to me.
But I did those 2 minutes. And after 2 minutes of practicing crow pose, I felt energized. I felt excited to tackle my yoga practice.
Tim knew just what I needed.
And now? I feel fantastic.
My husband does.
So this afternoon, while wallowing in how tired I felt, how bad my sleeping patterns have been, my husband asked me to do 2 minutes of yoga with him. He urged me to do it. I whined. I complained. I wanted to lay in bed for the next couple of hours and wait for energy to come to me.
But I did those 2 minutes. And after 2 minutes of practicing crow pose, I felt energized. I felt excited to tackle my yoga practice.
Tim knew just what I needed.
And now? I feel fantastic.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
For the Love of Life and Katie Jane
Katie, did you see that I wore a tiara on my wedding day?
It's true. You and I have more in common than you might realize.
Several weeks ago, I skipped my ordinary yoga class to visit Hello, Bluebird with
Danielle, Dayna, and Steph
Not only did I end up having a great time with 3 beautiful ladies that I love, but I also discovered this.
Some of my favorites?
And just because it reminds me so much of Katie
It's true. You and I have more in common than you might realize.
Several weeks ago, I skipped my ordinary yoga class to visit Hello, Bluebird with
Danielle, Dayna, and Steph
Not only did I end up having a great time with 3 beautiful ladies that I love, but I also discovered this.
Some of my favorites?
And just because it reminds me so much of Katie
Friday, January 8, 2010
Unsavvy Savings
I love this man.
This morning, after some fairly harsh disappointment, he held me and told me he loved me. And my day got brighter.
Over the span of a few days,I've come up with a list of ways to save money on some of my favorite foods. It is surprising how many coupons and free samples can be found after a quick trip to the websites of my favorite brands! But it needs to be said that some of my efforts to save money have resulted in the cost of something else. Something greater.
I pursued a work study position at a local yoga studio several months ago because I thought that my job was going to be eliminated. I have fallen in love with yoga and I did not want to give that up, so in exchange for as many classes as I want to take, I agreed to work 4 hours a week for a minimum of 6 months.
I did not lose my job. Which means that "as many classes as I want to take" turned into "2 classes for my own sanity because that is all I can fit in while teaching full-time, volunteering at church, doing a 4+ hour work study, attempting to keep relationships in tact,and moving and remodeling a new house." It should be said that Tim (and Bill, Mary Ellen, my parents, Ed, Steve, and Matt) ended up doing most of the work at the new house while I fulfilled my obligations. And while yoga leaves me feeling great (and I am just as hooked as ever), my schedule has a)been very full, leaving me feeling overwhelmed much of the time, and b) not often coincided with Tim's schedule.
Part B is the worst part. Tim is my best friend, my partner. And we need time together so we can hash life out together, so we can root each other on, and so we can work as a well-practiced team.
But...
the fury of our home projects is dying down.
I am discontinuing my work study after my 6-month commitment is over.
I have found another free yoga alternative, a less time-consuming one (amazingyoga.net offers free podcasts).
Tim and I spent hours talking everything out last Tuesday.
And I am going to one of my favorite cities with my favorite person this weekend.
This morning, after some fairly harsh disappointment, he held me and told me he loved me. And my day got brighter.
Over the span of a few days,I've come up with a list of ways to save money on some of my favorite foods. It is surprising how many coupons and free samples can be found after a quick trip to the websites of my favorite brands! But it needs to be said that some of my efforts to save money have resulted in the cost of something else. Something greater.
I pursued a work study position at a local yoga studio several months ago because I thought that my job was going to be eliminated. I have fallen in love with yoga and I did not want to give that up, so in exchange for as many classes as I want to take, I agreed to work 4 hours a week for a minimum of 6 months.
I did not lose my job. Which means that "as many classes as I want to take" turned into "2 classes for my own sanity because that is all I can fit in while teaching full-time, volunteering at church, doing a 4+ hour work study, attempting to keep relationships in tact,and moving and remodeling a new house." It should be said that Tim (and Bill, Mary Ellen, my parents, Ed, Steve, and Matt) ended up doing most of the work at the new house while I fulfilled my obligations. And while yoga leaves me feeling great (and I am just as hooked as ever), my schedule has a)been very full, leaving me feeling overwhelmed much of the time, and b) not often coincided with Tim's schedule.
Part B is the worst part. Tim is my best friend, my partner. And we need time together so we can hash life out together, so we can root each other on, and so we can work as a well-practiced team.
But...
the fury of our home projects is dying down.
I am discontinuing my work study after my 6-month commitment is over.
I have found another free yoga alternative, a less time-consuming one (amazingyoga.net offers free podcasts).
Tim and I spent hours talking everything out last Tuesday.
And I am going to one of my favorite cities with my favorite person this weekend.
Monday, January 4, 2010
It's Starting!
Well, we're moved!
There are still boxes to unpack, rooms to arrange, and projects to finish. I ended up wearing somewhat wrinkled pants to work today. But I now live in a cute little house in a neighborhood perfect for this moment in my life. Woo-hoo!
And...Tim and I have already been given opportunities to start our new adventure! On Thursday night (or maybe it was Friday?), Tim asked me if I would mind if our friends Josh and Heather slept over. On Friday. In the midst of boxes and dust. And I didn't. As long as they were made aware of the situation they were getting themselves into, I was ecstatic.
On Saturday morning, I brewed coffee and made pancakes out of a box and turkey bacon that had been waiting to be used. It was wonderful. When I left at 11 am, there were 8 other people at my house! I was loving it and I had a hard time tearing myself away.
On Sunday, Tim and I looked around at everything that remained to be done until our house could be declared suitable for get-togethers, and we decided to have people over anyway. My dear friend, Kristin, and two of her boys set to work on my house while I was out, and when I got back, I was able to enjoy their company, actually use my kitchen thanks to them, make a simple meal of soup and grilled cheese, and welcome more guests as they arrived. Pure bliss.
There are still boxes to unpack, rooms to arrange, and projects to finish. I ended up wearing somewhat wrinkled pants to work today. But I now live in a cute little house in a neighborhood perfect for this moment in my life. Woo-hoo!
And...Tim and I have already been given opportunities to start our new adventure! On Thursday night (or maybe it was Friday?), Tim asked me if I would mind if our friends Josh and Heather slept over. On Friday. In the midst of boxes and dust. And I didn't. As long as they were made aware of the situation they were getting themselves into, I was ecstatic.
On Saturday morning, I brewed coffee and made pancakes out of a box and turkey bacon that had been waiting to be used. It was wonderful. When I left at 11 am, there were 8 other people at my house! I was loving it and I had a hard time tearing myself away.
On Sunday, Tim and I looked around at everything that remained to be done until our house could be declared suitable for get-togethers, and we decided to have people over anyway. My dear friend, Kristin, and two of her boys set to work on my house while I was out, and when I got back, I was able to enjoy their company, actually use my kitchen thanks to them, make a simple meal of soup and grilled cheese, and welcome more guests as they arrived. Pure bliss.
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