Baby Fever

Let's just be frank here.
I am in and out of baby fever all the time. All the time.
I love children, I love teenagers, I love adults. But there is this yearning for my own children, someone who will call me Mama. There is this yearning for the messy, tired, beautiful life that children bring and the desire to grow my family. I know Tim feels those kinds of things, too.
It seems like everyone around me is having babies. And it's possible that many of them may come and go. But my cousins Krissy, Stacey and Katy are pregnant, and I would just love if all of our kids could grow up together.

Tim and I have been married for two years now, but I have been substitute teaching for most of that time so that both of us could invest a lot of time in our church, youth group, and other relationships. I am just beginning the process of going hard after a full time teaching job, but of course, I could not accept such a job if I was pregnant because I am not planning on going back to teaching until all of my kids are in school for a full day. (The exception would, of course be if I could work as an online teacher from home, as my cousin Christine does.) So this is the dilemma, it seems: I feel like we don't have the financial stability to begin having children. If I were to acquire a full time job, I would have to quit it within several months, and we'd, of course, be back to one income. Unless I could work from home in a position such as an online teacher or a nanny.

Hm.